Living: Cowboy Style
by Susannah De Silva
Summary: Susannah/Jesse Suze has found a way to give her and jesse a real life....will she do it?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: 

Susannah: I don't own The Mediator…although I wouldn't mind owning Jesse, mmmm *drools*

Joshima: hmm, I wouldn't mind having a bit of Suze

Susannah: *hits Joshima upside the head* need a hand out of the gutter?

Joshima: *scowls* well you're the one who likes the dead guy!

Susannah: I'm not the only one *grins* 

INFORMATION: after the fifth book, to me its 'grave doubts' to others its 'haunted' 

Written By: Susannah De Silva

Living: Cowboy Style

Prologue: I can save you

_psychic journals, Mary Jane James_

_July, 1968 _

'I have found, that not only do I have the ability to see, talk and help the dead, but I can also shift from this plane to the next, there are some records of shifters in ancient Egypt, but I've actually brought someone dead back to life. My sister died in a car accident and I somehow went back in time to a month prior to her death, myself remembering everything before then, while everyone else didn't, I saved her and she is still alive today. However I could go back in time, only once, and I could not bring myself forwards again. The experience was strange, and all I had to do was touch the spirit and visualise the year that person died.'

Whoa… I can _do_ that? It sounds so unreal, I mean, me….I can bring Jesse back to life. Sure being with him is so unreal, and when we kiss oooh, its amazing, the way he touches, I am definitely warm for his form. It's been what a year since we had that whole awkwardness with trying to tell each other our feelings, and well all I can say is that its been _heaven on earth_ from then on. Although the only thing I'm kind of wanting is something he wont give me, damn it, I want the nasty! Ha, I sound like some idiotic horney boy saying that, but I mean, its just so hard not to want to go further then what we have. But, if I can maybe bring Jesse back to life, give him another chance, then we might be able to have a more normal life. 

I know I'm definitely not thinking about this clearly, I mean that lady said she couldn't get back, and that would mean that I would have to live in the 1850's, not see my family or friends ever again, but I am so in love with him. It's not just his looks either, although that seriously does help, his entire self is just so perfect. He's so considerate towards me and he's just so damned funny sometimes….i don't know, but I want to give him this chance, maybe if I let him have this then when he does die he will go straight on to the afterlife. 

It's strange really, I'd always read about those girls who would die for their love, and that kind of crap, and id thought, what idiots…who would do that? But now finding myself in this situation where I can give my dead boyfriend life….would I give up my life as I know it to give him one? I know I will. 

I'm a little freaked though, because he wont remember me, and I'll be in some strange time where I have no idea what's going on. It's really Jesse's choice I suppose, but I want to give this to him, I want to be with him like any normal girl would, ok my situation is rather different then most normal girls, but I am going to convince my Jesse that we should do this. 

He materialized right on top of the window seat, his gaze directed in my direction, I seriously wondered how he did that, but oh well. I walked over to him and smiled shyly, now how was I supposed to do this? Jesse looked up at me with those oh so beautiful dark eyes and I almost forgot how to speak, his muscular arms shot out and pulled me down so I was sitting in his lap.

"**Something wrong Susannah?**" I shrugged and shivered as I felt his warm breath by my ear, oh I really did love this, if only it was more real, and I knew how to make it real. 

"**Well…**" ok here it is, time for me to go into persuasive mode, "**I may have found a way to bring you back to life**" he stiffened then, I could feel his muscles tense, his breath caught in his throat. 

"**what do you mean**?" his voice was a hoarse whisper, and I could feel the longing in it even if I couldn't see his face, oh he wanted this just as much as I did.

"**exactly what I said**" my voice was a whisper, and I held my breath waiting for him to reply to me. Silence was the only thing that greeted me and if I wasn't sitting on him I could have sworn he wasn't even there. 

"**how**?" I hesitated here, I mean, I know for sure that Jesse wont go for it.

"**I, take us back in time…**-" I held up my hand before he could protest about how that couldn't happen **"-I can do that, and well, stop your death from happening**." I turned my face to look at him, and instead of seeing a smile on his face, he looked absolutely devastated. I didn't understand, if I was given the chance to live again I'd sure as hell take it. "**what's wrong Jesse**?" His eyes flashed with an unidentifiable emotion and his hand came up of its own accord and began to caress my face, I almost moaned in pleasure, just the feel of his skin on mine was so beautiful. 

"**Querida, it would mean that I wouldn't get to be with you**" his voice sounded almost broken that I felt my own eyes mist up. I clutched his hand tightly.

"**no it wouldn't, I'd go back with you, live in your time**"

"**NO!**" it was so harsh, so loud that I flinched back startled. 

"**why not?**" I asked now fully turning around to face him, "**we could be together, as real people Jesse, don't you want that?**" 

He closed his eyes and ran a shaking hand through his dark curls "**I do, its just that, I could not take you away from your family, your life Susannah**" I looked straight into his dark, oh so beautiful eyes and held his gaze, I was determined to do this.

"**you are my family Jesse…..my life, and I want you to be happy, to actually get to live a life**." He looked away from me then and his grip on me tightened.

"**would I remember any of this?**" his voice was barely above a whisper and I swallowed passed the lump that had gathered there, I cursed my eyes for getting blurry with tears.

"**no**" he again tightened his grip on me, it was almost painful. 

"**I do not want to loose you Querida**." 

"**you wont, I will find you Jesse, and I'll make you fall in love with me again!**" my voice sounded so convincing I almost believed it, and Jesse turned to me with a gorgeous half smile and he brushed a few strands of my hair from my face.

"**I know you will**." And I knew right then that I'd won, he had agreed to it. There was a few moments of silence while we both just looked at each other for the longest time. "**what do we do?**" he asked, eyes trying to etch my image into his mind forever, and I could feel my heart swell with love. 

"**all I have to do is hold onto you, and well think of the year you died**." He jerked back, and I looked at him startled. 

"**wait**." And he walked over to my dresser looking for something. I was confused as ever and so just sat back in the window seat admiring his form. Oh how I loved those form fitting black pants he wore and that billowing white shirt that let me see his chest. I looked down at myself and criticised my own outfit, brown boots, ankle length sued skirt and a white form fitting white shirt. Hmm I should probably not look too unique where I was going. Jesse seemed to have finished looking for whatever it was and came shuffling backwards, as if he were shy about something. 

I raised an eyebrow and smiled slightly as he looked down at me. He stood there for a moment looking so damned perfect I just wanted to pull him down and kiss him. He held something out in the palm of his hand and I looked at it. There dangling between strong, tanned fingers was a delicate silver bracelet with a boy charm on it. Confused I turned it over and there scrawled on it was 

H. Jesse De Silva 

I looked up at him and he showed me his wrist, on it there was the same delicate silver bracelet with a girl charm, he turned it over and there scrawled in neat cursive were the words

Susannah Simon, Querida 

I couldn't contain myself, I threw my entire blubbering being into his warm, muscled arms and clung to him like there was no tomorrow, he gently turned my face upwards and he captured my lips in the most passionate kiss we had shared to date. Then breaking for air he nodded his head, he was ready, and I knew that this was the right moment. I didn't even have time to think clearly, my mind was set on the date 1850, and then I knew no more. 

~~

Susannah: ok, hopefully you liked it, now something important, I cannot continue until I have info on Jesse, about his life, about his death, sisters, girlfriends, where he LIVED! Oh and if there is any specific date that he died! whatever. Its sad to say, but I have only read the fifth book, I think its dodgy aussie buying, or whatever, but yeah I cant find the others, so I'm down in the info area. All help is greatly appreciated.

Joshima: your just slack

Susannah *glares* excuse me? But I don't see you doing anything but writing stupid comments

Joshima: *raises eyebrows* I'm not the only one.

Susannah: *growls*

Kami: *sigh* maa maa you two. Joshima leave Susannah alone, she is trying to write this story. Oh and she is not slack……most of the time.

Susannah: Hey!

Joshima:*sigh* fine. Just tell her to stop saying crap about me.

Susannah: hah! In your dreams….wait, don't dream about me that's just too wrong!

Joshima: *Scowls* shut up!

Susannah: mwhahahaha!!!!


	2. help me

Don't kills me please, I need HELP!!!!  
  
Ive figured out how im going to continue this, and seeing as how Jesse is Spanish (its Spanish right? Oh dear, I think I need to go and read it again) so.. His family are going to speak it. However I don't speak it! So.. Anyone out there who can speak, write, sleep, eat Spanish or whatever then you will be a great help to me in getting this to continue on :D  
  
Email me at  
  
Sujakata@37.com (not my account, my friends, but well, she checks hers more then me so, hehehe yeah, plus I use her computer, im such an idiot, you all don't need to know about my personal life) and yeah, just say Spanish writer as the topic so she'll know its for me :D thanks for your time, and for this, ill give you an extra long chapter well, the only chapter really mwhahahahah since I don't have any up yet :D and the person who becomes my Spanish translator gets to read it first :D hahahaha.  
  
THANKYOU!!!! 


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